By Brad "Ham" Nelson

Originally published August 4, 2003. Reprinted here by permission.

As any reader of Ham 'n' Egg who has been around awhile knows, I have spent a lot of time, money, and sweat over the last few decades looking for some answers in this goofy game.

Because when I'm playing well, golf is a lot more than just a game to me. But when I'm playing poorly, it can basically drive me nuts. And for about the last year or so, I've been playing it quite poorly indeed. My handicap index ballooned from its all-time low of 10.8 in July of 2002 to the depressing level of 15.9 in July of 2003.

I told myself I was out there to have fun, but I wasn't having fun unless my ball went where I wanted it to go. Every time. Guess how often that happened.

I told myself I was out there for the camaraderie, but what kind of camaraderie is there when most of my conversation over 18 holes was four-letter words aimed primarily at myself and my latest mistake?

I told myself I was out there for the exercise, then watched my waistline grow another inch as another hot dog and beer found their way down my gullet.

I was thinking more seriously than I ever have about just quitting the game when a friend recommended that I go and talk to Lucinda Hayden, the director of a program called INNER GOLF®.

She is based in San Francisco, and she has an impressive array of skills and credentials to help golfers with whatever it is that may be ailing them.

• She is a certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and an expert on a truly amazing technique called Focusing. (More on Focusing in a moment.)

• She holds a Masters degree in teaching and has a real knack for being able to make even complex issues simple and manageable.

• She is a personal fitness trainer and a yoga/Pilates instructor who can help you develop a personalized physical program to stretch and strengthen for golf.

• She is a nutrition consultant who can guide you in fine tuning what you eat and drink to increase your energy level and mental focus.

• And, based on my experience, she's also apparently a magician.

I have spent the last seven months going through both INNER GOLF® and LighterYou programs (the latter is the best approach to better health, diet, exercise, and weight loss that I have ever experienced — and believe me, I've tried 'em all).

And here's a stunner — I was impressed enough up front by both programs that I did the unthinkable — I paid the full retail price. This, of course, is abhorrent to my deep inner cheapskate, but I can tell you that what I have gained from INNER GOLF® and LighterYou is worth 10 times what I paid.

All of a sudden, I am enjoying not only my golf game but my life more than I ever have before. My energy level is up. My waistline is shrinking at an amazing pace. I actually look forward to going to the gym now — quite a turnaround from the rather recent days when I would rather lift a bar bill than a barbell.

My golf scores are headed down again. But, more importantly, I am enjoying the game more than I ever have before. It feels like a game, like fun, like something to be enjoyed even when the ball doesn't go where I meant for it to go.

Perhaps the two keys to all of these breakthroughs, and to Lucinda's programs, are hypnosis and Focusing.

Basically, both are a huge aid to being able to get yourself into the proverbial "zone" — and the zone is a terrific place to spend your time, either on or off the golf course.

Hypnosis, courtesy of a lot of carnival acts and stage shows, is a widely misunderstood tool. It is simply a state of relaxation that allows the subconscious mind to become more receptive to suggestion. It's a natural, safe, and familiar state of mind. If you've ever found yourself pleasantly relaxed and calm for a few hours while engaged in a creative project, or even a round of golf, then you've had some experience of what the hypnotic state feels like. As part of the INNER GOLF® program, Lucinda provides an audio tape that uses hypnosis to help you prepare to be more relaxed and confident on the course.

Focusing, on the other hand, is a process of learning how to listen to and respond to your feelings without pushing them away, or being overwhelmed by them. Case in point — my golf game has deteriorated in large part due to my anger over poor shots. Through Focusing, I was able to realize that I was saying things to myself that were absolutely brutal — things I would never say even to someone I hate. Once I became aware of this, Lucinda used Focusing to help me work through the anger and harsh self criticism and emerge with a whole new perspective on these tough emotions.

In essence, Focusing is a skill you can learn to treat yourself better. It shows you how to release even the worst fears and feelings you have about yourself and move past them to a much higher level of self awareness and self esteem. In the world of Focusing, this higher level is called Presence. In the world of golf, it's called the zone.

This may all sound pretty new agey to some of you out there, but let me tell you something — INNER GOLF® is practical, down to Earth, simple to learn (at least at a basic level), and it equips you with skills that are useful in every aspect of your daily life.

There were some fairly amazing discoveries waiting for me on the other side of all this — not the least of which was that I had turned golf into a dumping ground for all of my anger. So, instead of being a place to relax and have fun, the golf course had become one big primal scream.

Once you are actually aware of what you're doing to yourself, the ability for it to shift and change comes remarkably easily. This and other discoveries that I've made through INNER GOLF® and LighterYou have provided the fuel for a whole lot of positive change in my life.

Now, some background information: Focusing is a technique that was first discovered and described by Dr. Eugene Gendlin and his research team at the University of Chicago in the 1970s. Gendlin became fascinated with the question: Why were some forms of therapy effective in helping people, while others produced no behavior change whatsoever? What they found was that it wasn't really the form of therapy, or the therapist, that mattered as much as a characteristic of the clients themselves. It turned out that people who slowed down in their talking and groped for words to describe something they were feeling in their bodies were the most likely to benefit from therapy. People who stayed in their heads analyzing, or spent their time crying or shouting out their feelings, were less likely to change. Gendlin and his associates then developed Focusing as a way of making what they learned more useful and accessible to anyone interested in it.

In 1980, after eight years of experience with Gendlin and Focusing, Dr. Ann Weiser Cornell was invited by Gendlin to teach Focusing with him. Ann has gone on to become one of the foremost experts on Focusing in the world. Lucinda has worked closely with Ann to delve into Focusing and she has then applied what she has learned brilliantly to the needs of golfers.

To learn more about Focusing and the many ways Ann has created to use this wonderful tool to great effect in all aspects of life, please visit Ann's Web site at www.focusingresources.com.

Best of all, Focusing is a skill that you can make your own. So, just like grooving a golf swing, you can groove an ability to work better with your feelings and play a truly satisfying inner game of golf. Then, if your experience mirrors mine, the outer game follows pretty closely behind.

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